Advent High
by midnightcherryblossom
Summary: Kadaj Yazoo and Loz are high school students. Come join in on their misadventures and battles. Characters may be slight ooc but i'm trying. does include HP coming out above their heads!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I'm bored and at a writer's block for my other two stories, so I decided, I'll attempt a possible one shot. If it ends up just being a randomosity story that'll be fine too…But ii want to read reviews before I bother with it. .. Got this idea from She's Happy2bHardcore. Kind of AU, but more of an event that happens before Advent Children. Loz, Yazoo, and Kadaj go to high school together :). No outrageous flames…they're irritating.

Chizapter one: First day

Loz ran as fast as he could away from Hojo.

"I'm not going!" he screamed, rushing around random 'experiments'.

"Yes you are." Hojo sighed, waving Kadaj over.

"Grab him, or you'll be late."

Kadaj scowled at the man. No one ordered him around! He crossed his arms over his chest and lowered his eyebrows.

"No."

Hojo sighed…they were just like Sephiroth.

Yazoo hadn't even heard Hojo's command. He was still sprawled out on a soft couch waiting for the ride to school.

"Kadaj, I'm not ordering you…I'm asking." Hojo reasoned.  
"No. I don't think I want to go anyway." Kadaj smirked, gliding over to Yazoo and resting next to him.

Hojo was furious.

"If you don't listen I'll call Seph and have him take you." He shouted.

Yazoo shot up, shoving Kadaj off the chair. All Hojo saw was a big flash of silver hair (and heard Kadaj yell in surprise).

"Where is he!" Yazoo snapped, looking towards the ceiling.

He knew Seph loved to hide up there.

"He's not here…but he will be unless you go get your brother." Hojo smirked.

Again, all Hojo saw was a flash of silver hair, and Yazoo was dragging Loz towards him.

"Can we just go?" Kadaj snapped impatiently; having one of his first mood-swings for the day.

"No! I don't want to go! Its scary!" Loz screamed, tossing Yazoo to the side.

"AH!" Yazoo yelled, while flying through the air.

He slammed against a wall, face first, and slid down slowly.

It took everything in him not to laugh as Hojo watched the scene unfold.

Loz had taken off again, Kadaj was hunting him down, and Yazoo had found the Velvet Nightmares…and was shooting at the both of them.

"Quit, you're ruining my lab! My precious experiments!" Hojo gasped as Yazoo hit everything but his brothers.

"I'm calling him!"

"Calling who?" Loz asked, holding Kadaj at bay with both arms.

"No!" Yazoo gasped, rushing up to the doctor frantically.

He slipped on some slime that was randomly placed on the ground, and slid right into Loz and Kadaj. The three just blinked at each other for a moment.

Why were they so odd?

"Get in the damn car!" Hojo yelled, storming out and leaving the brothers to bask in their stupidity.

-One car ride later-

Kadaj bounded up to Midgar High's front doors, and lead his brothers inside.

"Do we have class together?" Loz pouted, looking down at all of their schedules.

"I wouldn't have class with you anyway. I'm a freshman…Ok, I'ma go now, see you at lunch!" Kadaj laughed, and snatched his schedule from Loz's fingers.

Loz whimpered and stared tensely at Yazoo.

Yazoo…blinked back, and edged away slightly.

"DON'T LEAVE ME!" Loz finally busted out and clung to Yazoo's leg.

Yazoo kicked at him viciously…people were staring.

"NO! Don't leave!" Loz screamed and clung so tight that Yazoo's leather pants were slipping off his thin hips.

"Stop, let go!" Yazoo snapped, grabbing his pants just before they slipped off. He kicked madly, and managed to free himself…but not for long.

Loz stood and tackled the thin man, causing people to stare even more.

"Get off me Loz! I'm not leaving you! We have our first class together!" Yazoo gasped and shoved his brother off.

"Hey! What's going on here?" the superintendent shouted, rushing towards the two wrestling men.

"THEY-WERE-FIGHTING!" a random student shouted, and scurried off before being detected.

"Were you now…Hm…come with me you two. You just received your first detentions and class hasn't even started…Good job."

Yazoo kicked Loz and mumbled obscenities as they followed the man into his office.

"Congratulations, you, young man, just received your second."  
"What!" Yazoo snapped.

"Are we working on a third?"

Yazoo's hand twitched to his hidden Velvet nightmare.

Loz knew exactly what his younger brother was about to do, and grabbed his arm warningly.

"And you just received your second detention."

…

…

Loz cried…

"Oh Loz…: Sighs heavily: its ok…we'll be together in detention at least" Yazoo spoke softly, patting his companion on the back.

The superintendent blinked and let his jaw drop.

"Ooook, you must be Sephiroth's kids…Well, never mind about the detentions…Seph warned me already." The man sighed.

"Where is he!" Yazoo snapped, pointing the gun towards the ceiling.

"You have a gun!" the intendant gasped.

…

…

Loz wailed loudly, and chaos overtook the room."

-Onto Kadaj

Kadaj sauntered into the room, and sat himself in the back.

Hopefully no one would bug him.

He was mostly correct. The people didn't walk up to him. Instead, they opted to just stare at him before class began. He'd stare back occasionally, but drop his head when the person didn't give up.

"Whoa…nice hair." Squealed an idiot of a girl as she rushed into the room.

She immediately sat her stuff next to him and began examining his silver locks.

"You look JUST like Sephiroth" the girl spat shrilly, yanking some of his hair out.

"I am one of his kids…kinda." Kadaj glared at her, rubbing where the missing hair used to be.

…

…

She kissed him! Out of nowhere, the annoying girl just grabbed his jacket and yanked him into her.

"MMM…what are you doing!" Kadaj spat, rubbing off his mouth and staring at her frantically

"Duh…seducing you…what does it feel like I'm doing?" she smirked, grabbing his inner thigh.

"RAPE!" he screamed just before the girl jumped on top of him.

She ravaged Kadaj as much as she could before the teacher walked in.

"What's going on here!" the woman snapped, pulling out the detention sheets.

"You, Elana, know the rules for PDA! And you…young lady…"

"I'M A BOY!"

"Young man…should already know what you were doing was wrong."

Kadaj threw his hands in the air, showing the fact that she was the one pinning him down.

The teacher didn't notice or care, and handed them both detention slips.  
"Cool….now we're in detention together!" Elana smiled brilliantly and sat herself next to Kadaj.

"Damnit!" he mumbled.

"What was that young man?"

"DAMNIT!" he said louder.

"Another detention for you…"

Kadaj was shivering with anger. He'd kill everyone if he could get away with it. But Kadaj knew the second that Hojo found out; Seph would be at the doorstep…ready to haul them off to worship Jenova's head.

"Anything else to say?" the teacher purred, stuffing the pink slips into his hand.

"No."

"What was that?"

"…No ma'am"

"Good girl."

"BOY!" Kadaj reminded her, twirling to the side to show he had no boobs, and a bit of a lump in the crotch.

"Whatever." She sighed.

-Five periods later-

Kadaj met his brothers at the cafeteria doors only moments after the bell had rung. They all had juicy stories to tell.

Loz munched away on pockie (Yazoo had stolen it from a freshman girl's purse when she wasn't looking)…he kept missing his mouth sometimes, and hitting his face with his hands.

Kadaj blinked at his older brother, and an enormous question mark formed above his head.

"What the hell?" Kadaj snapped at Yazoo. He wanted an answer as to why there were two gold stars circling Loz's head…and why his brother kept injuring himself.

Yazoo sighed.

"A girl was scared by his…hugeness in first period, and she cast confusion on him. He doesn't know friend from foe (he stated as Loz bopped him in the head). He's not even sure if he's his own friend or enemy." Yazoo explained, watching Loz knock himself unconscious.

"Can't you fix him…people are staring." Kadaj hissed, kicking Loz's limp body.

"No! I can't, a freshman girl stole all my material!"

"So you can't fix me either?" Kadaj snapped.

Elana had been in every one of his classes…and eventually attempted to give him a 'love potion' in science class.

The line she used to trick him:

"It'll make you stronger than Sephiroth!"

"Works for me." Kadaj had shouted just before chugging the potion.

Moments later, popping green poison bubbles appeared above his head, and he'd stared to flash an eerie green color.

Randomly, little numbers would pop up above his head, leaving the boy a little weaker each time.

Kadaj had gotten his revenge.

Elana was dead…stuffed in a janitor closet somewhere…

He'd lured her in by unzipping his leather outfit and beckoning her to follow him down the dark hall.

Thinking that her love potion had worked, she followed happily.

As soon as her limp body had hit the ground a very loud and obnoxious victory fanfare blasted around Kadaj and he had to quickly stuff her somewhere before someone came to see what the song was about.

-Back to lunch-

Yazoo broke open a phoenix down over Loz and an antidote over Kadaj. He sighed and began eating the school lunch.

Kadaj and Loz both cracked up when the poison bubbles appeared over Yazoo's head.

"And that's why no one should ever eat school lunches." Kadaj smirked as Yazoo gave himself an antidote.

"So now many detentions have you gotten so far little brother?" Yazoo purred evilly.

"Ten…How about you two?"

"Twelve a piece!" Loz laughed, twirling around with pockie still in his mouth.

"Didja kill anyone?" Kadaj grinned slyly.

"…oh, only the superintendent." Yazoo sighed, dazing off.

"YOU KILLED THE F-ING PRINCIPAL!" Kadaj hissed, grabbing Yazoo by the hair.

"Ya, hehe! Yazzy shot him! And then stuffed him down in the garbage shoot." Loz chuckled, still eating pockie.

"Oh::releases Yazoo's hair: no one will find him then. They only clean those out once a year….he should be good as dirt when they get to that." Kadaj grinned.

"Who'd you dispose of?" Yazoo whispered greedily.

The rest of their lunch was spent talking about Elana's death.

She's Happy2bHardcore's introjections 

WOO! SHE'S DEAD! HE'S ALL MINE NOW::plays victory fanfare and twirls a random object around as if it were a buster sword: 

And the rest of their day wasn't too bad…Random annoying peers of theirs kept 'disappearing', and their pockets filled with detention slips…but they were unfazed.

Finally, the last bell rang, and the three boys glided out of the school in search for Hojo's car.

"Phew…I'm glad this is over! I was runnin' outta places to hide the bodies!" Kadaj cackled just before entering the car.

Yazoo smirked and nodded in agreement.

"So…how was your first day?" Hojo asked suspiciously.

"Scary!" Loz blurted out, huddling close to Yazoo (who was getting very annoyed with it).

"Boring…" Yazoo answered and zoned out about nothing.

"Irritating." Kadaj hissed, stuffing some of his loot of stolen pockie back into his book bag.

What a first day…

-Review please! I was thinking about making more random chapters and having other people write out chapters to this…creating a story where anything goes…But I need to know what people think first b4 I do anything more.

The second chapter I do I was gonna have one of them old fashioned playground fights with a twist happen…Thanx for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N- Yay! Hey, if any of you want to write chapters for this give me a review and request it, or send me an email! You'll get total credit. Plus when you do email me I'll look into some of your fics and possibly advertise for you. Or just write something nice if you have none.

Snap! Ok, thank you finalfantasywordsman77 and Kadaj for reviewing. It was heartwarming hardcore. Finalfantasy girl! I'ma eat ur face if u don't come up with a fiction so I can review it and add you to my favorite authors list and all that hoopla. I heart you hardcore cause u've reviewed all my fics…NOW COME UP WITH ONE! OR I'LL HAVE TO DESTROY YOU! Hehe…kidding…actually if you'd like to write a chapter to this I'd be extremely happy!

Kadaj…if ur the same person that I think you are… I loved your "three brothers and a general" story…it was freakin hilarious! I especially loved the whole silence before they all started laughing.

MysterySC- thanks for reviewing! Oh, totally in the next chapter (if you couldn't tell by reading this chapter) I'm using ur advice. Sephiroth, Cloud, and Zack are making an appearance. Hopefully in later chapters more people from the game will randomly appear.

Psychopath that lives in Midgar- I heart you hardcore as well. Thank you for reviewing! Can't wait for ur one fic to pop up!

She's Happy2bHardcore- I heart you lots Linz! Update ur damn fic! I'll even help u write it if I have to! Thanks for reviewing (please point out my spelling errors they're so hilarious…I'll start freakin doin them on purpose just so u can find them lol!)

Lisalovesbishies- thanks for letting me use Lisa!

Hey guys this girls a great author you should check out…ALL of her stuff. I have and it's all very very well written and very veeeeeeeeery interesting.

Allllllright, enjoy.

Disclaimer: I own nothing…not even Lisa or Lindsay.

Ch. 2 Euphoria

"Yazoo you can drive to school today…If-you-sneak-off, believe me…I'll know." Hojo warned.

"Why do we have to go to school! We're born with more intelligence than these classes are teaching." Kadaj snapped, stuffing gum into his mouth.

He'd found it on a lab table.

"Sephiroth says I can't experiment on you anymore or he'll cut me into thirds. So, I decided I'd treat you like normal little boys and send you to school."

"Glad to see he's good for something." Kadaj mumbled.

He was beginning to feel…what was this? Happy?

"Kadaj, where did you get that gum?" Hojo asked curiously.

"Found it on the table…Yazoo hurry up, let's go!"

Hojo smirked as the three rushed out to the car. He'd worked with energy boosting vitamins and a special chemical that gave the chewer the feeling of euphoria.

The energy sticks were a product in the making for the Shinra monopoly over candy (as well as everything else). It still had a few problems with it (such as constipation, rectal discomfort, gas, bloating, mania, and depression after the effects.), but Hojo wasn't about to spoil the fun!

Kadaj would just have to look like a fool today.

-One Car Ride Later-

"BYE!" Kadaj screeched just before rushing away from the car as fast as his little legs could take him.

"Damn he's annoying today! Too bad I can't kill him." Yazoo mumbled to Loz.

"Mmmm…Remember what Sephiroth said when he visited yesterday…if he had to help dig anymore bodies out of anywhere in the school, he's going to recruit us into solder…Then we'd be joining him in Wutai." Loz whined.

Yazoo shivered at the thought of being under his (kind of) father's control.

"It's bad enough he's going to be at school today…" Loz continued.

"Excuse-me-what?" Yazoo slurred from his surprise.

"Yeah, you musta zoned out by then. Solder is sending recruiters to each school. Seph volunteered to come to our school. Good news is he's bringing Zack with him."

Yazoo relaxed slightly. Zack was a really nice guy. Whenever Seph came to visit the boys and Hojo, he'd bring Zack. The man had a knack for entertainment, and always managed to keep even Kadaj amused.

Plus, he knew how to keep Sephiroth in line…probably because they were best friends.

Loz and Yazoo stalked off to their first period class without further discussion. They sat themselves in the back, after the teacher had finished checking them for weapons.

"Alright class, since half of us are missing :coughs: and the school's trying to refill our class to its normal size, this is a free period…kind of. All of you are required to go visit the recruiters before doing what you like. Yes, that includes you two :scowls at Yazoo and Loz…who starts whimpering: Seph will be glad to see you all." The teacher smirked and allowed the class to leave.

Loz followed happily behind the very calm Yazoo. Mistaking Yaz's appearance as sincere, he bounded in front cheerfully.

"It won't be so bad! Zack'll be there, and maybe Seph won't make us fill out the papers. And…"

"Loz look out!" Yazoo snapped just before Loz ran smack into a goggle of girls.

"I'm so sorry!" Loz choked, trying desperately to pick them all up…at once.

"Stop Loz, you're making it worse!" Yazoo cried out and shoved Loz away from the screaming women.

Loz shrugged and dropped his favorite, Lisa.

"Aie!" they all screamed as Lisa landed on top of her two buds.

"Ah! You're such a jerk!" Yuffie screamed at Yazoo, who shrugged and began walking away.

"Water!" she shouted just before Loz and Yazoo were engulfed in weird-sound-making, watery, bubbles.

"…Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" Lisa, Yuffie, and Linz laughed hysterically.

The two men were furious! Not only had the planet's weakest human form attack them, but also they were soaking wet and being laughed at by everyone in the hall.

They struggled to get back up off the slippery ground and counter-attack (as was their mako-infused body's natural reaction)…but failed miserably.

"Whoop!" Loz gasped as he slipped and fell right on his smaller brother, jamming a leather-clad knee into Yazoo's crotch.

Loz's eyes widened as he realized where it landed, and looked down at Yazoo.

The man's face was contorted in pain, and his mouth was wide open.

"When I regain feeling in my legs…you're dead." Was all Yaz could squeak out before curling up in a ball and cupping his injured…piece (for lack of a lesser non-awkward word).

"Lightning 2!" they heard a familiar voice should before everything went dark…and the women were struck with lightning.

"Ah!" All shrieked as the angry lightening charred their skin and frizzed their hair.

Lindsay, the freshman in the group, cleared her throat and scowled in the direction of the shouter.

Kadaj, her recent enemy, stood there smirking as he watched the smoke pour off their bodies.

"Great to see you again Linz." He scoffed, gliding over to his brothers and helping them up.

"Kadaj, you are sooooo goin' down." She hissed back, trying her best to flatten her newly frizzed hair.

Loz beamed at his little brother as he tried to explain what happened in one breath.

"I-was-walking-backwards-and-tripped-over-Lisa-and-tried-to-pick-them-up-but-Yazoo-told-me-to-leave-them-alone-so-I-did. And-then-Yuffie-did-a-water-attack-and-we-slipped-and-I-fell-on-Yaz's-crotch-and-he's-going-to-kill-me-and-you-showed-up :gasps for air: Hey, wanna come with us to see Sephiroth?"

"Yeah! Woo! Fun, let's go guys!" Kadaj shouted, skipping around the frizzled girls.

Lisa was furious!

"You can't just leave us like this!" she snapped, grabbing for the young Kadaj as he bounded around her and her friends.

"Weeeeee!" Kadaj giggled, and jumped onto Yazoo's back.

"I want a piggy back!"

"You can't have a piggy back! Now get off me Kadaj!" Yazoo snapped, whipping around furiously.

"I want it! Carry me…my legs are broken!"

"You made that up!" Yazoo retorted.

"FIX US DAMNIT!" Lisa shrieked.

"Restore!" Loz smirked, but obeyed…he may like her just a tad.

"…Ha-cha" Lisa whispered as she cast confusion on him once more.

Damn…she fooled him again! This was the third time that week that she'd done it.

"Poison!" Lindsay shouted, directing her magic attack at the two squabbling brothers.

":Thrashes around on Yazoo's back causing him to almost tip over: QUIT POISONING ME! That's the fourth time this week! Damn woman, there's only five days of school, how're you gonna poison me everyday?" Kadaj snapped…still laughing and bouncing up and down on Yazoo's back.

-A Spat And A Half Later-

The opposing groups stared at each other before going their separate ways once more…pretending as if nothing happened.

-A Little Further Down The Hall-

"This is why I don't talk to you two! Loz, I always have to drag your confused ass around until I can find a remedy…and I never know what you're going to do to me Kadaj!" Yazoo huffed as he gave Kadaj his precious piggyback ride, and kept Loz from going in any other direction.

"Why were you out of class anyway?" he grumbled as Kadaj began swaying.

"Well, I think Hojo did something to that gum, cause I've never been so…HAPPY! Besides…I was in the bathroom." Kadaj giggled like a little schoolgirl.

"You hate public restrooms. Why were you in there?" Loz asked, as soon as Yazoo found a remedy in Kadaj's leg pocket.

"Because…"

"Because what?" Yazoo asked suspiciously.

"BECAUSE I THOUGHT I HAD TO CRAP! But nothing came out…'cept gas…

My butt hurts…I'M HUNGRY! WHAT'RE WE DOING?"

…Two mood swings within one minute…Yazoo KNEW Hojo had done something.

-Oooooooook…. writer's block the end. Next chapter will be them meeting Sephiroth, cause I'm tired of writing.

Hope that explains who attacked them in the last chapter.

Elana is dead…so Kadaj has a new enemy, Linz

Lisa's the one that was scared of Loz's hugeness and cast confusion on him in the first chapter.

Yuffie's the one that stole all of Yazoo's materia ..

Reviews are much appreciated! K byyye.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- Oh my f-ing gosh…what did do! All my stories say they have 0 hits! My Red Dream had like 3500 hits and now they're all gone! What's going on!

Ne way, time for the thank you's. :sighs: I heart you all hardcore, and will bone you someday Linz…someday soon. I loved all the reviews. No, the girls won't have a really huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge love role in the story. But I do want to keep them in there cause I'm a big fan of boy vs girl. Plus…high school is filled with drama…and what better way to portray that than with girls! And they'll b useful in the future…like for formal dances hehe… Again, if anyone wants to write out a chapter tell me! I'm more than willing!

Enjoy.

Chapter 3 Oh…no you did not…

"Piggy-piggy, I get a piggy back ride! Doot doot doo, Loz give me that candy!" Kadaj snapped when he saw his older brother nibbling on a candy bar.

"NO!"

"Give me some!" Kadaj whined throwing a tantrum fit for a child.

"Loz give him a piece of the damn candy before he breaks my back!" Yazoo yelped as Kadaj twisted and bent his back in the fit.

The older man grumbled and snapped off a piece. Kadaj gobbled it. The rest of the walk was silent (except for Kadaj's piggy back song).

"Hello children."

"HI DADDY I MISSED YOU!" Kadaj screamed like a mad man and scrambled over the sign-up table.

With a great leap the boy managed to knock the general to the ground.

Loz tried his best not to laugh, while Yazoo stood there with his mouth gaping wide open in shock. Zack calmly watched as the little boy proceeded to scream about 'missing his daddy and how much he loved him', and then smiled brightly at the two olders.

"What the hell'd ya do to him!" he laughed as Sephiroth finally got up with the monkey still clinging around his chest.

"…yes, what did you do to him?" the silver haired general grumbled as his 'son' braided pieces of his hair and bounced up and down.

"Hojo did it." Loz sighed.

"I told him no more experiments." Seph hissed, peeling a very hurt Kadaj from his body.

"Daddy doesn't love me!" Kadaj wailed and began sobbing.

He was ignored.

"Hojo didn't listen, I think you should destroy him." Yazoo smiled evilly.

That was their chance to get rid of the old goon!

"Guess so."  
"Yeah cool! That means you guys get to join soldier!" Zack gasped putting his hand out for a high five.

Whoops.

"Aw, c'mon Seph…He only did it cause we told him to!" Yazoo stuttered.

"I'M GOING TO KILL LINZ, YUFFIE, AND LIZA NOW BYE!"

"No you're not Kadaj! I'll have to take a pay cut if you kill anymore people." Seph growled and grabbed at the boy.

"Daddy wants to play!" Kadaj smiled evilly twirling over Seph's head.

Kadaj's movements were too fast. In one whirl of motion he'd managed to unsheathe Mesamune and run through the halls with it; Seph wasn't far behind.

"Ooooookay…so who's this?" Loz asked Zack, ignoring the chaos and explosions in the hall.

"This…oh its Cloud Strife…why doncha introduce yourself buddy?" Zack laughed as Cloud was edging away from the boys.

"Are they really Sephiroth's kids?"

"No…they're pieces of his soul."

"Is that why he's so odd! He ripped his soul out and made children with it…Hehe, I didn't think any woman would actually WANT to sleep with him." Cloud laughed and eased up a bit (as fangirls threw stuff at the computer screen in anger…lots of women would love to sleep with him, including them!).

"Harsh Cloud…harsh." Zack attempted to scold, but failed miserably.

Cloud ignored him and looked at Loz and Yazoo. They smiled politely and began to introduce themselves.

"I'm Loz, first piece and Sephiroth's emotional personality."

"I'm Yazoo, middle piece/child and Sephiroth's mysterious personality. And the one running around with Mesamune is Kadaj, Sephiroth's evil child type personality."

"…hm. Well, I'm Cloud Strife, puppet personality of Sephiroth and Chocobo Kid." Cloud smirked, bright blue eyes scanning the boys' pockets.

"Yeah, heh…if you two ever wanna bet on a Chocobo race he's the man to turn to. (whispers) He's got it rigged most of the time." Zack introjected.

"Nice…" Loz smirked.

"Are you and Seph staying the night again?" Yazoo asked, watching Loz exchange bets with Cloud.

"No, Shinra wants is at the HQ for a victory party."

"But you haven't won the war yet."

"Yeah I know..the man's a dufus. His son's likable though. Besides, I get to see my girlfriend at least." Zack sighed dreamily.

"Oh that girl never changes her clothes! C'mon Zack she wears the same pink dress everyday!" Sephiroth grumbled, carrying a very beat up and unconscious Kadaj in his arms.

"What did you do to him! God Seph he was only playing!" Loz screamed, tears beginning to form in his eyes.

":sighs heavily: I shouldn't have let Mother wake me up today. I didn't do anything…except cast confusion on him. Just before he did a fire attack on himself he fell asleep. So he basically crisped himself while dreaming."

"So what's the death toll now?" Zack signed as Cloud went back into hiding.

"He only killed one…Lindsay…But wait until tomorrow hehe…I have a little surprise for you all." Sephiroth smiled evilly, placing Kadaj down on the table.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEND OF THE DAYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDON'TMAKEFUNOFMEIIIIIIIIII

"So how was school boys?" Hojo asked as they piled into the back seat.

"Well, Sephiroth and Kadaj destroyed the school…so class was cancelled six hours ago…but other than that it was okay." Loz sighed.

"WHAT!"

"I'm killing your ass when we get home…Souba will be so happy to taste fresh blood." Kadaj hissed, still nursing a burn on his cheek.

"From now on we're carrying wristbands and potion kits…No more are we going to school with out protection from those wenches." Yazoo grumbled.

Thanks to Kadaj killing poor little Lindsay, Yuffie and Lisa totally tortured them in class and in between classes. They were lucky today though. The school only gave the two older men 3 days in school suspension, 10 detentions for Kadaj, Yazoo was only poisoned five times, Kadaj was burnt only 6 times, and Loz was confused only thrice!

-Next day at school-

"Why are there so many people here…Didn't I kill…WHAT THE F-?" Kadaj hissed as Elena rushed up to the brothers.

"Didja miss me Dajjy!" she squealed, nuzzling close to his chest.

"Not particularly." he growled, shoving her down a random garbage shoot.

Sephiroth spotted his children and strode up to them; beaming about the evil things he'd just done.

"What did you do…" Kadaj glared up at him.

"Oh what's wrong my little baby! Don't you miss me like you did yesterday :Kadaj twitches:. Hehe, I only brought back all those people you killed…Shinra's got wonderful technology don't they? OOOOOh by the way, Lindsay told me to give you this."

And with that Seph slithered off with the superintendent to discuss dropping financial charges off of him.

"Everyone we hate is back." Loz pouted.

"Including us, even though you never managed to kill us off. So, wanna walk Yuffie and me to in-school…since we're all in there together?" Lisa purred into Loz's ear.

He glared and bit at her face. Reluctantly, Yazoo and he walked with the enemy, leaving Kadaj alone with the letter from Lindsay. Slowly, Kadaj opened it and read its contents:

"Dear ass-hat,

Hey, do ya miss me! Cause guess what…I totally don't miss you. I'm alive thanks to yo' daddy, but not going to school with you anymore (oh such a pity). Instead, my parents decided to switch places with me and my bestest cousin…I'll be off enjoying myself in paradise (Spira) while you get to stay in Midgar with everyone you loath…almost everyone. By the way, meet my cousin, Rikku…she'll totally be taking my place as your arch nemesis. TTYL/Rot in Hell ."

Kadaj felt the paper being snatched from his fingers and looked to see who dared.

"Hello…I'm Rikku…sure my cuz told you ALL about me." The Al Bhed girl smirked evilly as she dangled the paper just out of his reach.

"Actually, she only mentioned your name."

"Aw…that's too bad. Guess I'll introduce myself. I'm Rikku, Al Bhed…and one of Spira's greatest…" she trailed off.

Kadaj looked at her with confusion just before she mugged him and took off down the hall with all his potions.

A big exlamation point flashed above his head (along with some HP numbers) as she made off with his goods.

"THIEF!" Rikku laughed as she rushed into class and out of sight…

:Thrashes around on the ground in a fit:

"WHY ARE THERE SO MANY THEIVES! I just got rid of Elena and Lindsay and up pops another one worse than the two combined! Is there a club or something!"

Kadaj finally gets up and gasps as he sees the sign on the wall.

It reads: Join the 'I hate the silver-haired-boys' thieve's club! If you wish to join please contact Lisa, Yuffie, or Rikku for details!

OOOOOooooOOOk, so next chapter (if I write it…maybe someone else would like to write a chapter?) I'm changing the format…to better fit the dialogue base to it. Sorry if its confusing this chapter, I'll fix it in the next.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N- woo, I already have another update for this… Linz's doin the one that'll come tomorrow… but I'm still fixing the next one that I have…hopefully it'll b up soon (3 updates in one week! Oh snap!)

Hehe, hope you like this chapter cause I didn't. Enjoy

Yazoo blinked back the sleep as he heard Hojo romp up the stairs to their room.

"Get up boys! Today is a glorious day! A day to be filled with new knowledge and interactions! Hurry and get ready for school."

Loz moaned his protest and Kadaj threw the covers over his head.

…Here's an idea.

"We don't feel good today. I think it's a good day for us to stay home sick." Yazoo grumbled, not even getting up to speak.

Hojo just stared at them all with utter confusion.

"That's impossible1 You'll never catch a cold… Here let me go get my charts and graphs…" he said, romping back downstairs and grabbing all the material.

"Good ideaaaa brother! Now, not only will we have to go to school and put up with all those evil girlies… We get to sit through a lecture before going! Great! You even know we can't get sick Yazoo, its part of being a piece of Sephiroth. He'll never freakin die and it'll be pretty hard to kill the other pieces of him…You're so du-"

"Shut it Kadaj…"

(---)

After a good half hour of lecture Kadaj sprung out madly from his bed, clad in only his boxers, and screaming, "Alright! Nevermind, we're fine! C'mon let's go!"

Loz was still snoring away, so Yazoo clumsily made his way to his brother's bed.

"Loz wake up…Loz…wake- Seph's here!" Yazoo snapped, trying to trick his brother into waking up.

It didn't work, and they only had a half hour to leave for school. Think think think…

Finally, after much deliberation, Yazoo just flipped over the whole mattress, knocking over the still lecturing Hojo and all his charts and graphs. Loz rose up from under the mattress with a grunt and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"Loz, we have a half hour to get to school and I couldn't even wake you… C'mon, Kadaj is already ready… I think." Yazoo growled, striding past Hojo and towards the door.

Fifteen minutes left and both Loz and Yazoo stood at the door arguing with Kadaj.

"You can't go to school in just your boxers! Are you nuts?" Yazoo screamed, crossing his arms and blocking the doorway.

"But I don't want to go back upstairs… Hojo's still up there!" Kadaj argued back helplessly.

Neither of the brothers moved, and Kadaj was forced to march his nearly naked bum right back up those stairs to change into some clothes. Of course he was very bitter about this but came back down a few seconds later in his tight leather uniform… followed by a continuing-to-lecture-and-get-on-everyone's-nerves-Hojo.

Just as Loz and Yazoo turned to walk out the door, Kadaj did it. He socked the scientist right in the face, knocking him completely out.

"What'd you do that for Kadaj!" Yazoo screamed, grabbing his brother's still tense arm.

"He just WOULDN'T shut up! And I couldn't take it!"

"…is he dead?" Loz pouted, thinking he was staring at a dead body.

"Oh forget it… we only have ten minutes to leave, just stuff him in the closet and let's go… We'll deal with him later." Yazoo grumbled.

(--------------)

"New schedules today. Shinra would like the youth of Gaia to be at least semi-physically fit. So all of you will be taking a physical education class… Please come get your papers and be on your way." The teacher greeted the homeroom class cheerfully. Boy was she excited to get rid of Yazoo and Loz.

The brothers were the last in line for the new schedules.

"Do you think we'll be together?" Loz pouted, grabbing a hold of Yazoo's arm and clinging to him.

"Tsh… gay." A group of boys chuckled as they passed the brothers.

Yazoo sighed irritably and kept his cool. He allowed his brother to stick to him until they got their schedules.

"I have martial arts… looks like you have materia mastery. Sephiroth must have done the schedules. You think you can be a big boy and do this class on your own?" Yazoo comforted.

Loz nodded, sniffling a bit. Yazoo smiled and began to walk away.

"Yaz… C-can you walk me to my class?"

"Yeah… sure Loz."

Gym! Gym! Out of all classes Sephiroth had to sign him up for… it HAD to be gym. What about materia mastery! Kadaj would pass that with flying colors! Or martial arts… Kadaj was a flexible guy, he'd do well in there! But noooo Sephiroth picked the class where he had the most weakness. Running long distances, lifting heavy weights… playing… SPORTS! He shuddered just thinking about it. Nothing could get worse.

Kadaj mumbled incoherently to himself as he marched into the boy's locker rooms. After the introduction and welcoming to the course, the gym teacher slowly turned to Kadaj.

Teacher: Young lady… next time make sure to go into the right locker room. You're lucky we aren't changing until tomorrow.

Kadaj: I'M NOT A BLOODY GIRL! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!

Teacher: … You're very pretty for a boy :eyes Kadaj hungrily:

Kadaj: I hate you…. Oh how I hate you

XxXxXxXxXxXx after class begins xXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Elena: Kadaj :streams of hearts follow behind her as she runs up to the extremely irritated boy: I missed you over the weekend! Didja miss me?

Kadaj: What do I say everytime you ask that question Elena?

Elena: No.

Kadaj: Then why do you keep asking?

Elena: There's always a chance you'll say yes.

Kadaj: A very slim chance

Elena: But a chance… Anyway, can I take your picture for the year book committee? And so we can ALWAYS remember the time we had gym together?

Kadaj: No… why would I want to remember gym? Especially after we start dressing…:shudders: you and your giggly friends in skimpy shirts and short shorts…ew!

Elena: ARE YOU SAYING WE'RE FAT!

Kadaj: … maybe

Elena blinked a bit, taking in the new information and processing it.

Elena: WAHHHHH! Rikku, Kadaj said I was ugly and fat and I couldn't have a picture of him because I'm such a loser:cries:

Kadaj grumbled under his breath and stormed past the two hissing and sobbing girls. The sun beamed brightly in the clear blue sky (as if that line hasn't been used a million and one times to say it was a nice day) as the class walked out to the school baseball fields. Everyone quickly rushed to the fields to pick out teams and design a batting order… Everyone except Kadaj that is.

He slowly slunk away from the arguing kids and slipped off towards a group of little trees. Kadaj carefully climbed in one and rested on a low branch. What a nice day! The silver haired boy closed his eyes lazily and let the sun kiss his soft cheeks.

Just as he was getting uber comfortable and drifting off into his own little world… a little voice squealed below him.

"Aren't you hot in all that leather?" Elena squeaked up at Kadaj.

He gritted his teeth in anger and blinked down at her. Kadaj shook his head angrily and continued to relax in his tree branch. Elena pouted again, placing a finger on her fat bottom lip and looking solemnly up.

"What's wrong sweetie?" Rikku stepped up, placing a gentle hand on Elena's back

…

Elena:whispers: I need you to help me get a good picture of him for the club."

Rikku: Sure no problem!

Rikku cocked her head to the side, examining the branch Kadaj was leaning on. She smiled triumphantly and signaled for Elena to get her camera ready. The two twittered, annoying Kadaj even more.

Kadaj: WOULD YOU TWO JUST GO AWAY!

Rikku: sure… after we do this!

The little al bhed girl balled her fists and punched the tensest part of the branch, snapping it and sending little Kadaj hurtling towards the ground.

Elena got it frame by frame, and the two even managed to snap a few pictures of Kadaj sitting on the ground holding his head and cursing

120 HP appeared above his head, and just to add kicks… Rikku and Elena mugged him, sending another 20 HP into the air.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXx to the Yazoo xXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"You sure you're going to be alright brother?" Yazoo asked, making sure Loz had a brave face on.

Loz nodded solemnly and waved goodbye to his younger brother. As soon as the door closed behind Loz, Yazoo let out a huge sigh of relief… at least he didn't come back out, blubbering like a fool.

Now it was time to get to his own class. Martial Arts wasn't Yazoo's strong point. Maybe this little high school class would sharpen his skills a bit. Yes, little Yazoo was slightly excited about taking this class.

When he stepped into the large padded room his nose was filled with the relaxing smell of jasmine and lavender. He quietly made his way to the back of the room and stood behind the already chattery crowd of students, eager to start their class.

The teacher stepped in a moment later and had the class sit in a circle to listen to him. Yazoo couldn't be happier. Not only was he away from his A D D little brother, and clingy older one, but the atmosphere of this class was already starting to match his personality. Just as Yazoo began to go off and day dream, a sharp object was chucked at him, and instinctively he caught it before it hit in between the eyes.

"Ah, I see you've had a bit of training." The teacher smirked, relaxing his body out of the throwing position.

"Yes…"

"Tsh show off." Yuffie grumbled audibly.

Oh hell, she was in there too. Yazoo should have known Seph would pull something like that.

Teacher: Alright class, that right there is how good I hope to teach you to be. When you're done with this class, not only will you know self defense, but your reactions and intelligence will improve as well. Any questions/"

Yuffie: Did you know that that kid's Sephiroth's boy? Wouldn't you expect better?

Yazoo: HEY! CAN IT YUFFIE!

Teacher: Ah, I see we have our first partners to volunteer for a demonstration. Please come to the center of the circle.

Yazoo's adrenaline was pumping and his nostrils were slightly flared as he marched to the middle of the circle and eyed Yuffie. She smirked back playfully and crossed her arms. This was gonna be good.

Teacher: Now Yuffie, I'd like you to kick Yazoo and watch as he blocks or avoids. Watch his technique.

Yuff went to punt at Yazoo's knee, but was surprised to see how quickly he'd dodged her attack. This happened over and over as the girl frantically kicked at his body and even started throwing punches. Finally, in a last attempt to land just one hit on the dodgy boy… Yuffie screamed and landed a hit right to his forehead.

"OW DAMNIT!" he yelped grabbing his head and watching 15 HP pop into the air.

Yazoo: What the hell? My HP doesn't come out above my head outside of this place! Why's it do that here?

Yuffie: you're not in battle outside of school loser… unless you fight inanimate objects!

"Oh that's it!" Yazoo screamed back and totally football tackled Yuffie, knocking a good 25 HP out of both of them.

This surprised even Yazoo; He never lost his cool! Yuffie yelped as she landed on her back and made it a great point to bite his arm.

HP was flying everywhere left and right; no one was sure who's was who's.

The teacher was making mad grabs at the two as they scratched, bit, slapped, punched, kicked, and rolled around the circle. Kids dodged the YuffYaz ball and scrambled out of the way.

"Would you two…Whoop!" the teacher yelped as the human ball tripped him and he landed face first on the floor.

Everyone stopped all movement including Yazoo and Yuffie. The last of their HP appeared above their heads as they stared on at the downed teacher. Nothing happened for a moment… until the teacher looked up at them.

"Ehhehehehehe…" he chuckled, still glaring at the two frozen teens.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX a moment later XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Yuffie: OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!

Yazoo: Ahhhh owww stop stop stop ow!

Teacher was dragging the two youngsters right down the middle of the hall and straight to the principals' office.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXx To the Loz xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Loz whimpered as he saw the enormous amount of teens filling the room, talking to friends, grouping together, and laughing.

Poor guy never knew a world without his brothers until this very day.

He moseyed to the back and sat on the ground in the corner. Loz felt so pitiful. Just as the poor guy lost all hope and readied himself to be the lone wolf, a tall shadow loomed over him.

: Hello.

Loz: Hi

: What's your name?

Loz: Loz… What's yours?

: Wakka… Can I sit with you?"

Loz:gets puppy eyes: Yeah sure!

The two silently sat for a moment before looking up at each other with the biggest eyes each could muster.

Loz: I like your hair! Its big and red and tall… Real cool!

Wakka: Your silver hair is cooler!

Loz: Wanna be friends?

Wakka: Ya:cries because he's so happy to have a buddy:

Lisa: Oh gods you're in here?

Loz: Watch out for her… she'll beat you up if your not careful:whispers: ain't she cute though!

Wakka: Ya, she looks scary… :whispers: she's hawt!

Lisa scowled down at the two and rolled her eyes.

Lisa: You know… I can definitely hear you… And Loz you're cute too… you're just uber dumb and easy to pick on.

Wakka: SHE'S EVIL TOO!

Loz: Hey I'm not dumb!

Lisa saw this as a very well point proven moment and walked off to join her gaggle of girlies.

The two new best friends chattered away about gorgeous Lisa while she talked about her master plan for attacking Loz this fine period.

Teacher: Horray for materia mastery! Come to the box and grab a ball. I want you all to aim at the targets. NOT AT EACH OTHER! Thank youuuuuu!"

Lisa grinned evilly back at her friends as she grabbed a glowing red ball of fire materia. Each student also grabbed whatever shiny ball of materia and headed to their assigned target. Luckily, Wakka was with Loz and the two grabbed ices…

Lisa was next to them.

Loz and Wakka were shooting wonders at the target!

Lisa smirked and held the palm of her hand out at the target. Just before the hot fiery energy shot out of her body, Lisa locked her eyes on Loz; therefore aiming at him secretly.

Loz was crisped, taking 45 HP with him.

Wakka: You ok ya?

Loz: Yeah… ow… Lisa she said for you to aim at the target.

Lisa: who says you're not the target?

Wakka: She is evil ya!

Los: Ya!

Lisa: hehe

Los: don't worry… it'll be ok.Lisa continued to crisp Loz and use the excuse that she REALLY was aiming for the target, but just couldn't get it right, while he ignored it and kept telling Wakka it would be alright. At the end of class everyone returned the materia, but Loz ever so sneaklily pocketed a steal and speed materia. Lisa turned and smiled back at the slightly smoldering Loz.

Lisa: Didja have funzies today?

Loz: Hum, yes in deedy

Lisa: HEY! WTF!

Los quickly mugged Lisa… taking 20 gil and her lovely bra (whilst returning the materia to the box)

Wakka: … hahahaha! That was cool ya!

Loz: Ya! Here, you can have the gil.

Wakka: You keepin' the bra ya?

Loz: Ya.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXx Return of the Kadaj xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Kadaj: No no I'm not taking the shower! Let go let go let go!

Teacher: You have to. Its required for the course

Kadaj: No, no it isn't-WOULD YOU QUIT LOOKIN AT THAT! Neah, I'm Not showering!

Teacher: Yes-yes you are!

Kadaj's gym instructor had forcibly stripped him of his leather uniform and was now pinning him under a shower head.

Teacher: This won't hurt a bit… here we go.

Kadaj: Neah! MOTHER!

Steaming hot water poured down upon the still struggling boy. His teacher started down at him hungrily, watching as the hot water spattered off of Kadaj's soft skin.

Just as his teacher was feeling the over whelming feeling of accomplishment… his brain waves seemed to stop.

Kadaj glared up angrily at the teacher, and everyone was now watching the man as he still pinned the naked Kadaj to the wall.

Suddenly, all that clear water coming from every shower head began spitting out gooey black water.

It poured over little Kadaj, covering his manly parts, as well as zombifying everyone in the showers.

"… You've just been pwned3 by mother…" he smirked happily and turned off the water.

Kadaj crossed his arms and stared at the crowd of zombified peers… Standing proud in his naked glourious glory.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx on the way home xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Yazoo: Well, seeing as how SOMEONE knocked out the one who usually asks the questions, I'll do it for him. How was school today.

Kadaj: It was alright… mother visited.

Loz: Mmm, I got a new bra!

Both brothers stared wide eyed at their older brother and blinked.

Yazoo: right, um, I got pulled into the office.

Kadaj: you get paddled like he threatened last time!

Yazoo: …He was more interested in paddling Yuffie actually. I got off with a mere slap on the wrist. Hehe.

The brothers parked the car and lazily made their way up the sidewalk to the house.

Yazoo: Oh hell…

Both Sephiroth and a very VERY disgruntled Hojo stood, arms crossed, in front of the door.

Sephiroth: so you HAD to stuff him in a closet?

Kadaj: oh c'mon! He wouldn't shut up!

Hojo: That doesn't mean knock me out and stuff me in a closet!

Yazoo: we didn't have time to fix it, we were gonna be late for school!

Loz: and you just kept talking and talking and talking!

Sephiroth: … Loz, is that a bra in your hand… if so… where did you get it?

Loz: … yes, and I stole it from Lisa.

Sephiroth:sighs and rubs his forehead… nursing a growing head ache: You guys need some form of punishment… You're spending the weekend with me… Soldier has some little tasks that need done, and you three can help out our crew this weekend… before the big fight with Wutai.

Kadaj: I'm telling mother!

Sephiroth: Ohhhh mother told me about your little incident today… and for that, you'll be tending to the Chocobos.

Kadaj: I HATE CHOCOBOS! THEY'RE SCARY!

Yazoo: damn you Hojo.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hello, all. This is actually she's.happy.2b.hardcore (Lindsay)

guest-writing a chapter of Advent High for mon amie, Alexis. I hope you

all aren't so set in your ways that you'd hate my style of writing

compared to hers, but hopefully I can bring her humor to the table in the

same respects.)

-

"...and so, class, the great general Sephiroth has suggested to the

staff of Advent High that we make fine arts classes mandatory from here on

out. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, you will continue with your

physical education, but those classes will be replaced with a fine arts

class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If you are already enrolled in a fine

arts class, then you are exempt and may have a study period. That is

all," a voice spoke over the PA, just before a bell rang to release them

to go to homeroom. People in the halls began chatting excitedly, with

the exception of Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz, who didn't seem to know what was

going on. Loz scratched the back of his head and side-glanced at Yazoo.

"Y...Yazo...!" he whined, causing his longer-haired brother to cringe.

"I don't even know what those are! What are fine arts?" Yazoo opened

his mouth to answer him, but was caught off by his more antsy brother.

"Who cares? It sounds like sissy stuff, and I already know that I'll be

skipping it." Kadaj snapped, crossing his arms. Yazoo suddenly wished

he had a piece of Hojo's magical ecstacy-inducing gum for his brother;

sure, it was annoying to have him climbing all over his back and singing

a song about...well...climbing on his back, but sometimes his

bitterness was a bit hard to take. Instead, Yazoo opted to settle them down by

saying,

"Well, perhaps we'll be put in the same class or something..."

"Not likely...you three are dumb enough as is, so it would be stupid of

them to schedule you all in the same room at one time." an annoyingly

sing-song voice called. The three turned around to see Elena smirking at

them as she sifted through her locker. Yazoo excused himself from the

group.

"Hey, Elena, look! It's our fourth silver-haired, leather-clad brother

who actually enjoys the company of morons like you!" he called,

pointing behind her. She gasped, grinned, and spun to find nothing-alas, it

didn't matter as Yazoo chucked her into her own locker, slammed the door,

and spun the dial on it. Unlike his brothers, Yazoo's punishments for

annoying fangirls didn't often result in death, though they did get the

point across. The surrounding students were talking too loudly to hear

Elena's muffled cries as the three brothers walked off together.

-

"You have got to be kidding me!" Kadaj howled, looking at his schedule

as he walked down the hallway. Band. Freaking band. When it came to

instruments, Kadaj knew nothing about playing them unless the instruments

you were talking about were those of destruction. Trying to make

himself feel better, he hope that he would be assigned the violin; that way,

if people were to give him lip, he could simply impale them with the

bow. Yes...band might not be so bad after all...

"You must be Katie! My name's Mr. Hodgie!" a slightly bald man

exclaimed whilst rushing up to Kadaj, who glared at him.

"AUGH! I am a boy, and my name is Kadaj. Somebody fetch me a violin

bow!" the silver-haired boy screamed, maniacally searching for something

sharp to kill the man with. Mr. Hodgie just chuckled.

"Aw. Actually, since Lindsay left for Spira we have an opening in our

drumline. Come on, I'll take you to meet them." he offered, and led the

fuming Kadaj on to the football field and over to a group of 8 or 9

people. In the middle stood a tall, spunky-looking redhead who looked like

he had a knack for trouble.

"Reno?"

The boy turned to look at Mr. Hodgie and Kadaj after telling the rest

of the line they could relax.

"What's up, yo?" he nodded at the dopey man and the odd kid with the

balled-up fists.

"This is Kadaj; he's new to the class and has come to take Lindsay's

place."

"You know how to play?"

Kadaj crossed his arms, and hesitantly shook his head, hating to admit

that he didn't know how to do something that others could.

"Alright, yo, we'll take him from here." Reno said, calling the band

director away. "Here...try this on." he offered, taking off his harnessed

drum and pulling it over Kadaj's shoulders. He was surprised when the

boy didn't even lean forward to support the weight.

"Sweet...now try something like this."

Reno then went to a drum already worn by someone else, took their

drumsticks, and played some fancy drum lick. He handed the sticks to Kadaj.

Hmm...not as sharp as the violin bows that I've been searching for, but

these look like they could do some damage...

"Where did the bald man go? Will these fit very far into his ears?"

Kadaj asked the red-headed superior, who, surprisingly, laughed.

"C'mon, yo, take your frustration out on the drum!" he advised,

motioning to the object that was strapped to his body. Kadaj scowled a bit,

pulled his right arm back, and layed one stick into the head of the drum.

WHAM!

The drum head, which was known to be extremely durable, exploded open

and released powder everywhere.

"AW, NO!" Reno yelped, falling to his knees and digging his fingers

into his mass of red hair. For once in his life, Kadaj almost felt a bit

sorry for ruining the boy's plaything. But really, it was way too

flimsy. Not knowing how to react from Reno's small tantrum, he simply took

the broken drum off and set it on the ground. Reno moaned, crawled over

to it and held it like a baby; as brokenhearted as he was about his

precious object's demise, he addressed Kadaj in the same tone as before.

"OK, yo...we need to find you a new way of venting out your anger." he

spoke, keeping his eyes on the damage.

"I prefer destroying peop-" Kadaj started to reply, but was interrupted

by a loud, obnoxious sound that was emitted right behind him.

BUM!

He spun around to find the small-framed Rikku holding a tuba twice her

size and grinning like an idiot. Without warning, he knocked the girl

down, stuffed her into the bell of the tuba, and punted it as hard as he

could. The Rikku-filled tuba soared far above the field, where Kadaj

proceeded to cast Confuse on the her. There. That was better.

"Wow. That girl definitely had it coming to her, yo. Nice shot." Reno

complimented, surprising the silver-haired clone.

"You mean you're not going to tell the bald man and try to get me my

86th detention since I've been here?" he replied, eyeing him

suspiciously. Reno laughed.

"No way, yo. Your kind are appreciated around here."

Kadaj smiled to himself. Finally, someone he wasn't tempted to kill.

Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all...

-

Yazoo sat at his seat in this new, odd-smelling room as he waited for

class to begin. Art, hmm? Though he'd never admit it to his brother's,

Yazoo found art to be a nice way to let off steam, as opposed to always

having to kill people. Though Yuffie was a good reason to kill

somebody...speaking of which, he had been enjoying most of the day without

having to run into the dumb gir-

"You can't be serious! I have art with you!"

Yazoo sighed. So much for that.

"Oh, I'm sorry. If I'm not mistaken, I think I just heard the voice of

somebody who doesn't even know how to throw a decent punch. I'm sure

what work you do in here will reflect just as much." He growled, gripping

his pencil. Yuffie reared back to punch him, but was interrupted by the

teacher who had just now decided to start class.

"Why, hello, all you future Van Gogh's and such! Welcome to Art 101!

Today, I won't be assigning anything specific, but I want you to

free-draw and show me what you can do. After looking at what you turn in, I'll

decide what we should work on from here on out. You may begin." she

spoke, and the students hurridly began drawing. Yazoo pondered for quite

some time what he should draw. He needed inspiration...hmm...

Glancing up from his blank paper, Yazoo watched as a boy clad in all

black and wearing eyeliner cast Darkness on himself. A black cloud formed

in front of him as he placed his headphones on his head and began to

draw blindly. Yazoo blinked. Loser. Hmm...Hojo was certainly a loser as

well for sending him here. Aha! He would draw Hojo...dying.

Yazoo smiled complacently as he worked for about 20 minutes on his

drawing; in the end, he was very satisfied with his product. In the

pencil-sketched piece, Hojo was strapped to one of his own lab tables as

various lasers and drills were pointed straight at his face. There was even

a laser already burning a line from the bottom of the table and heading

straight for the man's trouser addendums. In the background stood Yazoo

and his brothers, smiling at their apparent handiwork as Sephiroth

regarded them proudly.

"You are one sick fuck." Yazoo heard behind him, and he turned to face

the annoying Yuffie again. He glared, his eyes finding their way to her

own piece of work.

"Well, at least it doesn't look like a rainbow had diahrrea on my

paper..." he scathingly replied, and Yuffie genuinely looked appalled.

"Don't you make fun of Senor Peanut!" she screamed, hugging the picture

of her fat cat close to her body. Quickly, Yuffie turned on her heel

and marched up to the teacher, who she hoped would find beauty in her

Crayola masterpiece. Beyond annoyed, Yazoo followed her in order to get a

professional opinion of his own.

"Hmm. That's nice, Yuffie...Senor Peanut certainly seems to enjoy all

those bright colors...! OK, who's next?"

Yuffie triumphantly stuck out her tongue at Yazoo, who ignored her and

advanced to the front of the line.

"Alrighty, then, Mr. Yazoo! Let's see what we've got!" the teacher

cheerfully regarded him, and lifted the paper to her face. Suddenly, the

color seemed to disappear from her cheeks, and she lowered her glasses to

clarify what she was seeing.

"Oh...oh my. I can see that there are more of you, then?" she timidly

asked. Yazoo smugly smiled and nodded. The teacher cleared her throat.

"Alright, then. Ah...that's...that's nice, Yazoo. Perhaps a little on

the destructive side, but probably one of the most well-drawn and

detailed pictures I've seen in a long time."

Yazoo had to hand it to the woman; she really did try to be optimistic.

He took the picture and made his way back to his seat.

Yep.

Still better than Yuffie at everything.

-

Loz nervously stood beside the piano, watching as his fellow classmates

sang and danced their hearts out on the risers. Honestly, he felt like

crying; how could Sephiroth do this to him! Kadaj misbehaved by trying

to skip his gym class, Yazoo got into a fight with Yuffie while they

were supposed to be demonstrating something, and all Loz did was mug a

girl...which was only means of slight retalliation. He didn't even hurt

her...that...much...

I bet Kadaj and Yazoo are actually enjoying their classes...and I bet

they even got scheduled together! he moodily thought as the class in

front of him plastered on their fake smiles while they did their routine.

"...Loz?" the teacher spoke, apparently repeating herself. Loz snapped

out of his self-pity party and gave the woman his full-on attention.

"Lisa's dance partner is, erm, sick today. Would you like to try

filling in for him?"

Loz nearly swallowed his tongue--this HAD to be a joke.

"Not particularly, ma'am."

"Super! Now get on up there and show me your jazz hands!"

"Does that require a certain type of materia?"

The class giggled, and Loz felt his already-bruised ego start to

wither. But soon, he began to feel that sadness and embarrassment turn into

something else...

Loz grudgingly marched up the risers and stood next to Lisa, who

glowered up at him. Such a pretty thing being tainted by such a horrid scowl.

"And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four!" the teacher

called, beginning the piano music and singing along with the children. Loz

was now completely panicked.

Oh geez...oh geez! What am I supposed to do! his mind raced, and he

found himself trying to balance watching all the other guys in class as

well as his dance partner. Unfortunately, multi-tasking never really was

one of Loz's strong points.

"You big lummox! Watch where you're stepping!" Lisa snapped, staring

down at her sore foot. Loz tried to apologize but another couple bumped

into him from behind, sending him right into his partner again.

"OW!" she screeched. "The only reason I'm not killing you right now is

because I want my Hello Kitty bra back!"

Suddenly, most of the class erupted in laughter, and some of them

jokingly congratulated Loz for getting to second base with Lisa. Speaking of

Lisa, a certain girl was bright red and fuming at this point. The

teacher obliviously kept smiling and singing. Lisa didn't know whether to

destroy Loz or herself first, but her thoughts were interrupted by Loz

lifting her off her feet and spinning her above his head. It was

certainly part of the dance routine, but Loz getting bumped by another couple

(again) and dropping her on her butt was not.

That was it.

Before she could even think of what was happening to her, Lisa breathed

out a spell as she kept her eyes on her clumsy dance partner. Loz, who

was too busy apologizing to the other couple, suddenly burst into

flames. Screaming, he fell in a blazing glory off of the risers.

And just as quickly as Lisa snapped, Loz did as well. The sadness and

embarrassment that he had been prolonged with for so long finally turned

into a fit of rage; growling, he proceeded to lift the entire set of

risers and flip it over, trapping everybody underneath.

The lunch bell rang.

"Loz. Loz, it's ok!" Yazoo assured his fuming brother as they sat at a

completely abandoned lunch table. It was like a case of Of Mice and Men

as the large, seemingly dopey man wore his heart on his sleeve and the

skinny, quiet man did his best to cover the damage.

"Sh-sh-sh-she didn't have any right to set me on fire! All I did was

drop her on her head, Yazoo!" Loz sobbed, looking pitifully into his

brother's eyes. Before Yazoo could further comfort the boy, two more people

joined them at the table.

"What's up? What's wrong with Loz?" Kadaj inquired as he and his

red-headed friend sat down. Yazoo kept his head in Loz's direction, but met

eyes with the fiestiest of the three.

"Lisa..."

"Well, no need to worry about that, anymore. Y'see, she and her female

cronies are pretty much taken care of now." Kadaj said, and then

motioned to his friend. "Reno and I saw to that earlier. The walking circus

should begin in about 3...2..."

"Rikku, stop it! Ow!" a girl was heard screeching, and all eyes in the

cafeteria turned to see the commotion coming from the entrance. Through

the doors walked a bandaged-up Lisa, a sour-looking Elena with wet

pants, and an oblivious Rikku. A black swirl loomed over the Al Bhed's head

as she grinned, then reared back and landed a punch on Elena, who tried

smacking her arm away.

"Rikku, quit it! We're out of remedies and you're the only one with a

materia wristband on...now try again. Cure us...c-u-r-e u-s..." she

impatiently growled, and Rikku earnestly began digging through her holsters

for something...anything. She found nothing, and Reno cursed.

"Damn it, yo!" Elena's the only one who sat on the plastic-wrapped

toilet! The other two seemed to pick up on it after she pissed all over

herself..." he noted, watching the scene go down. "How

disappointing...what are we going to do about the others?"

"I've got it." Loz suddenly spoke, and the attention was turned to him.

"Hey, Rikku!"

The flightly blonde spun on her feet, blinking and smiling at the

silver-haired man. Before she responded, she landed a solid left hook to her

own nose.

"I just happened to have a Cure 2 materia on me. Last one...it's all

yours!"

For once, Rikku seemed to comprehend what was going on as she bounded

over, gleefully taking the shining orb from Loz's large hands. She

hastily put it in her wristband and aimed for her friends.

"No, Rikku, don't!" a scream was heard, but it was too late. Rikku cast

what was actually a Poison 4 wave all over her friends, who instantly

turned green as red HP lowered itself over their heads. Yuffie came

charging into the group as Lisa collapsed from her already serious wounds,

plus what the poison was doing to her. Elena lunged for the nearest

trashcan, and everytime the sound of her vomiting resounded, more and more

HP disappeared from above her head. The boys were in hysterics...Loz

obviously felt better as his peers encouragingly slapped him on the back

in a congratulatory way. Meanwhile, Yuffie frantically searched for her

own collection of materia.

"Yazoo! I"m going to kill y-!" she started, but was cut off by Elena

falling into the trashcan. Suddenly, the victory fanfare blared

throughout the entire room. Rikku triumphantly pumped her arms before giving

herself one last proper hit to her face. The scene was now perfect.

Elena's blinking green legs stuck out of the trashcan, Lisa lay on the floor

unconscious in a pile of her own pee, and Rikku simply laid face down

on the floor. Yuffie was in the middle of the whole thing, jaw dropped

as the silver-haired men, plus Reno, practically convulsed from

laughter.

Later on that night, the brothers returned home. Hojo began thinking

that they'd all gone mad as Kadaj walked around with a pair of

drumsticks, enthusiastically playing on and shattering everything he passed, and

Loz danced everywhere he went, mimicking his hold on a dance partner.

Though the two acted completely out-of-character and made the scientist

question if one of his lab specimen had passed on some sort of virus to

them, he was sickeningly reassured that the boys were themselves with

one simple object...on the fridge, sticking to the door with two cute

chocobo magnets was a makeshift family portrait that Yazoo seemingly made

in art class. No place like home.

-

(A/N: Thank you all so much for reading my guest-chapter in Advent

High. -grin- Alexis has a great story going on here, and it was a ton of

fun to put my own spin on what I thought might happen in a typical school

day. I'm sorry if you definitely didn't like my writing style, but

don't hold it against my best buddy, ok? Hehehe. Come visit me sometime!

Love, et cetera, She's.Happy.2b.Hardcore.)


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